Fairy Tales

I'm not a parent, so I can say with confidence that you should never lie to your kids.

Children use reasoning at a much earlier age than adults may realize. Children as young as three have the ability to use analogical reasoning. So by lying to your kids (assuming they uncover the lie) you actually encourage them to lie (more than they already would) as they get older and distrust you.

I hope to have the ability to successfully encourage my children to think logically and creatively without leaving them out of some of the great lies children are told in those exciting early years, like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.  I mean, kids just want to fit in with each other.  Being the only kid not to believe in Santa would suck. Reminds me of the Jehovah Witness kid in my elementary class who had to color-in illustrations of trees instead of Halloween pumpkins; all the other kids knew he was doing something different and lame. But I also don't want to be a liar or seen as untrustworthy when giving answers to their curious questions.

So how can a parent let a kid be a kid while maintaining integrity?  Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson has a solution.

Neil deGrasse Tyson is an astrophysicist with the enthusiasm for science and the universe that science teachers (and students) wish they possessed.

He is also a father.

Recently, I heard him tell the story of how he introduced his then seven-year-old daughter to the Tooth Fairy when she lost her first tooth.

It's a great tale of how you can teach your kids to be inquisitive and curious about the information they receive. 

Photo: Neil deGrasse Tyson

So, my daughter is seven, tooth comes out and I tell her, "So I'm told, if you put it under your pillow, the tooth fairy will come along and swap it out for cash."  She said, "really?" I said, "I'm told".  That way I'm not lying, right? I'm told.  So she puts it under her pillow, she wakes up and there's money under the pillow. 

"Daddy! Daddy! Mommy! The tooth fairy came!" 

"Really? How do you know?"

"Well, there's money under the pillow."

"How do you know it's the tooth fairy?"

"Well", she said, "because you told me that it might be the tooth fairy." 

So this happens with more teeth...more money under the pillow and then I said, "Have you ever thought of testing whether in fact it's a tooth fairy? Do you want to, like, set up a camera or you know...?"  So, I started to put in her some level of doubt. Or, not doubt, but pathways of inquiry to test the idea. 

So, here's what happened. She began to think that maybe it's the parents who are swapping teeth out with money. So she arranged at her school to do the test. And how do you do it at school?  You get someone -- a classmate -- whose tooth comes out while they're at school. And then they don't tell their parents that the tooth came out. And then put it under the pillow without the parents knowing it. That was the way to test for it. 

And, they concluded it was the parents and not a tooth fairy.

And, so...it's this kind of inquiry...it simply has to do with information and how you view the information that comes to you. It's not about squashing fun story-telling -- that's not what this is about -- this is about just investigating what comes in front of you.

Isn't that brilliant?  Allowing her to enjoy the myth of a tooth fairy but inspiring her to be inquisitive and investigative about the real facts, giving her the tools and the inspiration to test her tooth fairy hypothesis.

By the way, Dr. Tyson's daughter seems to be doing just fine.

 

 

Imagine if more children were "geek-literate" and appreciated the periodic table than those who think "ur" is an acceptable form of "your".