BOOM! In Your Face, Former Employer.

Well, here I am. Employed. (And maybe a little overwhelmed, uncomfortable, and dare I say, happy.)

For a long time I worried that the favorite parts of my thinking brain would atrophy. For almost four years I sat in a dumb little cubicle surrounded by (mostly) those who have never been challenged to put much thought into anything.

My iPod helped me escape my reality. I would spend my mornings listening to Howard Stern and my afternoons listening to lectures via iTunes U. Without it, I think I would have gone insane. It was the only way I could "check out" of my environment for reassurance that this place is nuts. The more ridiculous management proved itself to be (and how unprofessional the employees were), the more I knew I had to get the hell out.

• Before long, I would find myself wearing sweatpants to work; convinced that they were nice sweatpants and totally acceptable on casual Friday. 
• I would think that filling up my dirty coffee mug with water (so that my dirty spoon can soak throughout the day until I could wash it) was normal; and if it sat through the weekend, no biggie.
• I would think it's perfectly fine to wash my dishes in the restroom sink, despite the fact that the kitchen comes fully equipped with -- count 'em -- two sinks (and only ten feet away). 
• I would feel no shame about unbuttoning and unzipping my pants as soon as I hit the restroom door on my way to a stall even though I wasn't in a race with my bladder.
• I would allow myself to clutter my cube with teddy bears, candles, kitty pictures, and food crumbs while proclaiming to be "the only professional one here". 
• I would ignore everyone else's desperate pleas for me to tone down the perfume, because you know what, screw those people, it's not like it's common courtesy to be considerate of others' sensitivity when they sit two feet away.
• I would assume the victim mentality when I couldn't understand why a temp would receive more liberties, awards, and promotions than I -- despite the fact that I have consistently turned down assignments when the temp has not. I'll have no choice but to surmise that I'm being discriminated against based on my age or ethnicity.
• After getting promoted by default, I would micromanage my staff and tell them to stop doing personal things at their desks during breaks, before asking one of them to come to my office to help me figure out why my Turbo Tax return still says "incomplete" (or how to tune the television, so that I could watch my soaps).
• And, when my staff has a question with serious legal ramifications, I would simply say I don't know, I don't care. Just enter whatever. When they look at me funny, I'll remind them that I'm retiring in three years, and if I have to ask Legal that question, the department head may wonder why I don't already know the answer and wonder what I've been doing for the past twenty-two years; and that could result in a demotion and a lower retirement payout.

Thankfully, I realized that was my future. And nothing motivated me to go back to school more than knowing I did not want to become one of them; twenty years on the job with no idea how to use email (seriously) or have the ability think critically on any subject.  

I once prevented a serious error from occurring (despite a supervisor telling me it's not a problem and demanding I ignore it) that could have sent hundreds of drivers to jail if they ever got pulled over. Not a single "thanks" or "good looking out" or anything. Instead, a dirty look by my supervisor who, as I later found out, took credit for the save. ( I enjoyed setting the record straight on that one.)

I searched for another job for about a year before I finally quit. When I did, I had nothing to fall back on besides school. So, I treated it like my job. G was paying his very hard earned money for me to attend and I wasn't about to squander it. Plus, I wanted to prove that quitting was the right decision.

During this time, I had a couple of interviews where I felt like I aced it, only to be turned down. I worried that my former employer and co-workers would ultimately have the last laugh.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I had the last laugh. Within two days, I was hired on with a local law firm after I interviewed for a spring internship position; I received a permanent writing assignment with Yahoo! News to publish whatever I like willy nilly; and, I was asked to help my professor proof the second revision of her textbook.

Love the sentiment, hate the misplaced apostrophe in y'all.

The thing that frustrated me the most at my old job was that I knew I had potential. I had talents they could utilize. I knew it because previous employers helped me discover it by challenging me with various projects. The people who've been sitting for twenty years probably don't realize they've atrophied, because they never realized they could move.

So, if you're ever wondering why government employees have a lazy reputation, it's because no one with the ability to help cares enough or knows enough to do it.